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What Is Biblical Lament? Understanding This Powerful Biblical Practice for Healing

BIPOC Christian woman in prayer expressing lament and grief while living with chronic illness
BIPOC Christian woman expressing lament and grief while living with chronic illness

Quick Takeaways

  • Biblical lament is a faith-based practice that helps many Christian women process grief, chronic illness, and medical trauma without spiritual bypassing by telling the truth, seeking God’s presence, and holding hope and sorrow together.

  • Lament helps many people process grief, reduce shame, and feel less alone—especially after chronic illness, medical trauma, or prolonged suffering.

  • In therapy, lament can be paired with trauma-informed tools (like grounding, breathwork, and EMDR-informed resourcing) to support emotional regulation.

  • You don’t have to “pretend” here. Lament makes room for honest faith in hard seasons.


This post is for you if…

  • You love God, but you’re exhausted from unrelenting pain.

  • You’ve experienced medical trauma or felt dismissed by providers.

  • You’re a high-achieving BIPOC Christian woman who keeps showing up for others while quietly unraveling inside.

  • You want a biblical, emotionally honest practice that doesn’t bypass grief.


By the end, you’ll understand…

  • What biblical lament is (and what it isn’t).

  • Why lament can be deeply healing for trauma and chronic illness journeys.

  • How to practice lament in a way that feels safe, grounded, and sustainable.

  • Practical steps and prompts you can use this week.


What Is Lament? A Biblical Practice Backed by Scripture and Neuroscience


If you're a BIPOC Christian woman living with chronic pain or navigating medical trauma, you've probably been told to have faith, stay positive, and trust God's plan. But what happens when your body is screaming in pain, and your prayers feel unanswered?

As a licensed therapist specializing in EMDR therapy for chronic illness, medical trauma, and chronic pain, I've witnessed how toxic positivity in Christian spaces can actually harm our nervous systems and deepen our suffering.


Today, I want to introduce you to a biblical practice that's backed by modern neuroscience: lament.


Lament is the act of unburdening oneself by expressing one's feelings unadulterated and unfiltered to God. When you bring your raw, unfiltered pain to God without pretending everything's okay, you allow your nervous system to breathe and downregulate. This practice of honest prayer allows you to acknowledge suffering while maintaining connection with and trust in God.


💡 Key Takeaway: Lament keeps faith alive during chronic pain and medical trauma by reminding us that it is ok to feel and that God will listen, comfort, and carry us through the pain. Science shows it regulates your nervous system, reduces inflammation, and promotes emotional healing.

 

Why Christians Are Called to Cry Out to God


The book of Psalms is filled with lament over pain and suffering. Over one-third of the Psalms are laments that provide a great model for us to follow. A few scriptures that come to remembrance are:


How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? — Psalm 13:1


My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me? — Psalm 22:1


Even Jesus practiced lament. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He sweated drops of blood as He cried out in agony, asking God if there was another way (Luke 22:44). Jesus wept at Lazarus's tomb even though He knew he was going to resurrect him (John 11:35), and He expressed anguish on the cross (Matthew 27:46).


For high-achieving Black women who've been conditioned to be the strong one and maintain composure, this biblical model offers an invitation and a promise. God wants you to tell him everything that you are burdened by without qualification, brightsiding, or spiritual bypass.


💡Reflection point: If the servant is not greater than the master, why is it that we struggle to lament? You don't have to perform strength — you can be honest about your pain.


Why is Lament Difficult for BIPOC Christian Women with Chronic Illness & Medical Trauma


For BIPOC Christian women, the practice of lament often feels like a luxury they cannot afford. Generations of survival have required strength, resilience, and the ability to carry burdens without complaint.


For instance, the Strong Black Woman archetype, while born from necessity during slavery and continuing oppression, has created an expectation that Black women must always be unshakeable pillars for their families and communities. Latina women are also the pillars of their families and often carry the burdens and suffering of others along with their own. Asian women are expected to take on familial responsibilities such as caregiving, moving their parents into their own, and more; these expectations teach women to deprioritize their feelings and needs as well.


This cultural conditioning makes expressing grief, pain, or disappointment feel like weakness or failure. Many BIPOC Christian women have watched their mothers, grandmothers, and aunties suppress their own suffering to keep households running and children protected, creating an inherited pattern where vulnerability feels unsafe or even selfish.


Church Culture Compounds the Struggle


Church culture compounds this struggle when it emphasizes victory, breakthrough, and overcoming without making space for honest expressions of pain. BIPOC Christian women often hear messages about having faith, praising through the storm, and maintaining joy despite circumstances.


For Hispanic women raised in Catholic or Pentecostal traditions, suffering may be viewed as redemptive or something to endure with quiet dignity, mirroring the sacrificial suffering of Mary or the saints. Asian American Christian women may navigate additional layers of shame avoidance and family honor preservation that make voicing personal pain feel like bringing disgrace to their families or communities.


These teachings, while rooted in biblical truth, can unintentionally send mixed messages and silence the raw emotional expression that lament requires. The biblical book of Psalms shows God's people crying out in anguish, questioning, and wrestling with suffering, yet many women of color have been taught that such honesty reflects a lack of faith.

When gratitude becomes mandatory and questioning feels forbidden, the spiritual practice of lament becomes nearly impossible. This creates internal conflict for women who desperately need to release their pain but fear being judged as spiritually immature or ungrateful for their blessings.


The Compounding Weight of Multiple Burdens


The compounding weight of racial trauma, gender discrimination, immigration stress, and spiritual expectations creates a perfect storm where BIPOC Christian women carry enormous burdens in silence. Medical trauma, workplace discrimination, language barriers, financial stress, and caretaking responsibilities pile up without adequate outlets for processing grief and anger.


For many Latina women, the pressure to maintain cultural values of 'marianismo' and 'familismo' means prioritizing everyone else's needs while neglecting their own emotional health. Asian American women may face model minority myths that erase their struggles or perpetuate the belief that they should silently achieve without complaint.


Learning to lament means unlearning survival mechanisms that have protected women of color for generations, which requires tremendous courage and safe spaces where authenticity is truly welcomed. Christian counseling that honors both faith and mental health can provide the framework for BIPOC women to finally give voice to their pain without fear of rejection or judgment.

 

The Problem with Suppressing Pain: How Medical Trauma & Chronic Pain Affects Your Body


When you suppress emotional pain by pushing down anger, ignoring grief, or forcing positivity, your body doesn't forget. Research shows suppressed emotions manifest as chronic pain, inflammation, digestive issues, muscle tension, and insomnia.


The anger you swallow when a doctor dismisses your endometriosis pain as normal period cramps can settle into your jaw as TMJ or chronic headaches. The grief you refuse to acknowledge after a miscarriage or infertility diagnosis may show up as digestive problems, increased bodily pain, or persistent fatigue. The frustration you minimize when juggling caregiving responsibilities without support can create tension that radiates through your shoulders, neck, and back.


Your body becomes the storage container for every emotion you were taught was too much, too angry, or too inconvenient to express.


The Reality for BIPOC Women with Chronic Illness


This is especially true for BIPOC women with chronic illness who face the compounded trauma of medical gaslighting, systemic racism in healthcare, mislabeling as aggressive and combative, and cultural expectations to be strong caretakers.


When you're told your pain is in your head while endometriosis ravages your body, that suppressed rage contributes to inflammation and worsening symptoms. When you're dismissed as exaggerating while experiencing a lupus flare or fibromyalgia episode, the internalized shame and self-doubt create additional stress that your immune system must fight to not recognize as a danger cue.


When you're expected to care for aging parents, raise children, maintain your career, and serve your church community while managing a chronic condition, the unexpressed exhaustion and resentment literally make you sicker.


Learning to lament provides a biblical pathway to release these stored emotions before they further compromise your physical and mental health.


The Neuroscience of Lament: 4 Ways Crying Out to God Heals Your Body


When you practice lamenting or giving voice to your pain through honest communication with God, powerful neurological changes occur:


1. Nervous System Regulation


Lament can support stress reduction and emotional regulation, which may positively influence the body over time. Lament activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the rest and digest response.


When you cry during prayer, your body:


  • Reduces stress hormones through tears

  • Produces endorphins (natural painkillers)

  • Releases oxytocin (promotes calm)

  • Slows heart rate and deepens breathing

  • Your body literally calms down when you give voice to what hurts.


2. Emotional Regulation and Trauma Processing


Suppressed emotions get stuck in your limbic system (the emotional brain). Expressed emotions move through the brain's processing centers and begin to integrate. For many people, lament (especially when paired with grounding and safe support) can help the nervous system feel more settled and supported.


3. Self-Compassion


Lament activates your brain's self-compassion networks instead of self-criticism pathways that keep you stuck in shame. Research shows self-compassion is linked to:


  • Decreased anxiety and depression

  • Greater emotional resilience

  • Greater psychological flexibility

  • Better chronic pain management

  • Improved immune function


4. Radical Acceptance and Neuroplasticity


Lament doesn't mean giving up on healing. It means accepting your current reality without denial. Paradoxically, when you stop fighting reality, your brain's neuroplasticity (the ability to change and heal) increases. Acceptance creates space for transformation.

 

How to Practice Lament: EMDR and Faith-Based Techniques for Healing


1. Write a Lament Letter


Pour everything you're feeling onto paper to God. Tell Him about how broken your body feels, how horrible the medical system is, and how chronic illness itself was not something you thought would be a mainstay in your life. Research shows expressive writing reduces intrusive thoughts, improves immune function, and decreases pain severity.


2. Pray a Structured Lament Prayer


Here's a sample lament prayer for chronic pain:


God, I'm exhausted by this unrelenting pain. My body feels so broken, and I feel so worthless and stuck. I'm angry with you and my circumstances. It feels like you have idly stood by and watched as I've been dismissed by doctors who should have helped me. I grieve the life I thought I'd have. When I feel like this, I doubt who you are and how much you care about me.


Help me believe You see me when no one else does. Help me to believe that this isn't your only plan for my life. Help me to believe that you have a future and hope for me that isn't harmful. I don't know how to trust You right now, but I want to and I know I need your help to do this. I can be honest with you and myself by admitting that I am not okay. And you are good and You love me anyway. Thank you for being so faithful with your lovingkindness. Amen.


3. Create a Lament Playlist


Music bypasses the thinking brain and speaks directly to the limbic system (emotional brain). Find songs that express grief, anger, or longing. Let yourself feel without trying to fix the emotions. Some of my favorite songs on my lament playlist are "God Turn It Around" and "In The Room" by Jon Reddick.


4. Somatic Lament (Body-Based Processing)


Here are some body-based practices to try to release physical tension and trapped emotions:


  • Butterfly hugs/taps: this exercise calms the nervous system and is easy to do. You can watch a short tutorial here.

  • Crying — allowing full-body sobs

  • Raising your hands in worship

  • Swaying back and forth with your hand on your heart. Adding soaking music in the background can be a powerful combo with these two practices. I personally love this artist, David Forlu, who came highly recommended by a brother in Christ. Listen here.

  • Opening and closing your hands with your eyes closed. Notice how it feels to clench your fists, then open them again. This symbolic act of releasing what you've been holding is so healing.


A Final Word on Lamenting for BIPOC Women


If you're a high-achieving BIPOC Christian woman navigating chronic illness, you carry multiple burdens: feeling like you have to always be on, helpful, and useful, navigating medical racism, church expectations, career pressure, poor access to care with people who don't identify as you, and even cultural messages from your communities that minimize your pain.


  • Lament gives you permission to:

  • Acknowledge exhaustion and grief without shame

  • Grieve the life you hoped for while processing at your own pace

  • Express anger at racist medical systems

  • Rest without proving you deserve it


💛 You don't have to earn your healing. You don't have to be positive enough to deserve care. You are allowed to lament. 💛


Support is Available: Cheerful Heart MHC PLLC Offers Christian Therapy & EMDR


EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an evidence-based treatment that helps your brain process traumatic memories, including medical trauma from years of dismissive doctors, painful procedures, and chronic illness battles.


For high-achieving BIPOC Christian women with chronic illness, Cheerful Heart provides trauma-informed, faith-affirming Christian therapy that honors both your faith and your unique experiences with chronic pain and medical trauma. You don't have to choose between your spiritual beliefs and your mental health needs.


As a Black Christian therapist specializing in EMDR therapy for medical trauma, chronic pain, with lived experience with endometriosis, I provide compassionate, culturally responsive Christian counseling through secure telehealth sessions and in-person sessions in White Plains, NY.


Want support practicing biblical lament with a trauma-informed therapist? You can book with Shakira or one of her clinicians at Cheerful Heart MHC PLLC!


EndoKin Collective: EMDR Groups for BIPOC Women


EndoKin Collective is being reworked into a short-term cohort-based EMDR group program specifically for BIPOC women navigating chronic pain, medical gaslighting, surgical trauma, infertility, and anxiety related to Endometriosis.


In EndoKin groups, you'll experience:

💛 Healing in community with women who understand and identify as you

💛 Small, intimate groups of no more than 3 to 5 people per group

💛 Expert-led EMDR processing with a Black counselor who has lived experience

💛 Tools for nervous system regulation

💛 A space where your pain is believed


✨ Join the EndoKin Waitlist by subscribing to our email list to learn when the first cohort launches. Cohorts are offered 1-4 times per year


Frequently Asked Questions About Lament and Christian Therapy


What is lament in the Bible?


Lament is a biblical practice of expressing raw, honest emotions to God, including grief, anger, pain, and disappointment. Over one-third of the Psalms are laments, showing us that God welcomes our unfiltered feelings. Lament is not a lack of faith but rather a demonstration of trust that God can handle our deepest pain.


How does EMDR therapy help with chronic illness?


EMDR therapy helps process traumatic memories stored in the body, including medical trauma from dismissive doctors, painful procedures, and years of living with chronic pain. By reprocessing these memories, EMDR reduces their emotional charge and physical manifestations, helping your nervous system regulate and reducing inflammation and pain.


Can Christian therapy help with medical trauma?


Yes, Christian therapy integrates faith-based practices with evidence-based treatments like EMDR to help you heal from medical trauma while honoring your spiritual beliefs. Faith-based therapy provides a safe space to process anger at God, wrestle with difficult questions, and practice lament without judgment.


Is lamenting the same as complaining?


No, lament is distinctly different from complaining. Lament involves bringing your pain honestly to God while maintaining trust in His character and promises. It's a sacred practice that acknowledges suffering without denying God's goodness, creating space for both grief and hope to coexist.


How can I find a Black Christian therapist who specializes in chronic illness?


Look for therapists who explicitly name their specialization in medical trauma, chronic pain, and faith-based therapy. At Cheerful Heart Mental Health Counseling, I provide culturally responsive EMDR therapy specifically for BIPOC Christian women with chronic conditions like endometriosis, offering telehealth services in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, and California.


Conclusion: The Integration of Faith and Science in Trauma Therapy


Your need to lament does not mean you lack of faith.

Your pain does not make you weak or worthless.

Your questions do not disconnect you from God's love and comfort.

Lament is the bridge between "this is unbearable" and "I will survive this."

Lament is where your humanity meets God's compassion.


Psalms 34:18: The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.


A smiling BIPOC woman in a red polka-dot dress, with curly hair and glasses, leans on a chair.

About the Author

Shakira O'Garro, LMHC-D, LPCC, LPC, NCC is a licensed mental health counselor and founder of Cheerful Heart Mental Health Counseling PLLC. She specializes in working with BIPOC Christian women navigating medical trauma and chronic illness that triggers a crisis of faith. Trained in EMDR therapy and Christian counseling, Shakira offers virtual sessions in NY, NJ, PA, SC, and CA.



References

  • Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

  • Bessel van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score

  • Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory

  • Shapiro, F. (2018). EMDR Therapy

  • Soong-Chan Rah (2015). Prophetic Lament


Book Recommendations


Affiliate Disclosure: Some links below are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend resources I genuinely believe are helpful.


  • Desperate for Hope - Bible Study Book with Video Access: Questions We Ask God in Suffering, Loss, and Longing by Vaneetha Risner: https://a.co/d/fMZBmjW

  • Watching for the Morning: 90 Devotionals for When Hope is Hard to Find by Vaneetha Risner: https://a.co/d/aH2jtFk

  • Upon Waking: 60 Daily Reflections to Discover Ourselves and the God We Were Made For by Jackie Hill Perry: https://a.co/d/iWBPsJT

  • Holier than Thou by Jackie Hill Perry: https://a.co/d/3OGiPPx


This post is for educational and spiritual encouragement and is not medical advice. If you are in crisis, please contact emergency services or a local crisis line.


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