Cultivating a Cheerful Heart Newsletter -Issue 1 (November 20205)

November Newsletter

Issue #1

Holiday Season, Chronic Pain & Protecting Your Peace

Welcome to the

Cultivating a Cheerful Heart Newsletter

Every month we aim to give you food for thought, updates and more.

Hi loves!

 

November is here — and while for many it’s a season of warmth and gathering, it can also bring pressure, pain, grief, and pushing past your limits if you’re living with chronic illness or navigating medical trauma.

This month, we’re talking about how to protect your peace, honor what your body needs, and still experience connection where possible.

You deserve a holiday season that considers YOU.

In this issue, you will find tips for managing, faith encouragement, recommendations, and tools. 

🌿 Managing Chronic Illness During the Holidays

You are not “too much.”

Your needs are valid.

As gatherings ramp up, so can symptoms. Cold weather, travel, sugary and inflammatory holiday meals, and family expectations — it’s a lot. Here are realistic, compassionate ways to care for yourself:

• Pace like it’s a part of the plan — because it is. You can only do so much, accept that, and plan accordingly. Maybe I can’t make it to freidnsgiving and Thanksgiving dinner if they are a day apart. Perhaps I can throw a Friendsgiving at my place and have everyone bring a dish and volunteer to help with clean up. Get creative, but remember what you can do based on how you feel.

• Schedule recovery time before and after events.

• Communicate boundaries early, even if they feel uncomfortable. It’s ok to recruit a trusted friend or family member to help you with this. You can even role-play and practice with them.

• Choose comfort over appearances — stretchy waistbands & portable heating pads count as holiday fashion.

• Honor emotional needs too — losses, disappointments, uncertainty… they deserve space. This can look like spending some time alone crying. 

You do not have to prove your strength by suffering silently. You can join with others who get it and understand what you’re going through.

✅ Scripts for Setting Boundaries

Try these exact words:

🎯 When declining an invitation

“Thank you for thinking of me. My health is unpredictable right now, so I’m keeping things low-key. I’ll be celebrating in my own way this year. I invite you to join me at home on another day that works for us both.”

🎯 When leaving early

“I’m so happy I could be here. I need to get rest now, so I’m going to head out. It was great seeing you!”

🎯 When someone pushes or questions

“I know my limits better than anyone. Listening to my body is what allows me to show up at all. I appreciate your cooperation and understanding.”

You can be grateful and have boundaries.

🧠 Medical Trauma Spotlight

Why holidays can activate your nervous system alarm system

Family gatherings can stir memories of times you felt:

• Unseen or disbelieved about your pain

• Pressured to “mask” symptoms to be present and appear ok

• Excluded from traditions due to health

• Judged for medication needs, diet changes, or energy limits

• Experiencing really bad flare that you couldn’t manage without an ER visit

Your nervous system isn’t dramatic — it is trying to protect you.

Healing is acknowledging the truth of these experiences, not minimizing them.

Take the time to give yourself some compassion and to grieve the sadness of what has happened and continues to feel hard. Try to bring in some things that still bring joy but that don’t overtax your body. Some of my personal favorites are warm and color throws for couch days, endocrine safe scented candles like (Sand & Fog), Oatmilk or Almond Milk Lattes, and anti-inflammatory teas that are natural but smell warm and cozy like chai or ginger tea.

Therapy can help you rewrite the alarm triggers, which can provide long-term relief.

You deserve safety and rest — not just survival mode.

✝️ Faith Corner

Suffering does not mean God is absent.

God is actually very close to those who are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. Jesus meets people in their pain — not after they “get it together.”

 Be encouraged for He is with you no matter what!

Even if you can’t attend church services…Even if you are grieving what life hasn’t been…Even if you feel spiritually exhausted…

Even if you have to order groceries because the pain prevents you from leaving home

You are seen. You are held. You are loved.

Try this simple prayer on heavy days:

“God, help me receive the kind of rest that restores me — body and soul. Remind me of your example of how you even rested and carved out space for grief – not just for others but even for yourself before your death on the cross. Thank you for being a God who understands our sufferings and who never leaves us.”

Scripture references:

“God, help me receive the kind of rest that restores me — body and soul.”

• Matthew 11:28–29 — “Come to me… and I will give you rest.”

• Psalm 23:1–3 — “He restores my soul…”

• Exodus 33:14 — “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

“Remind me of your example of how you even rested…”

• Genesis 2:2–3 — God rested on the seventh day.

• Mark 6:31 — Jesus invites His disciples to come away and rest.

“…and carved out space for grief — not just for others but even for yourself…”

• John 11:35 — “Jesus wept.” (at the grief of Lazarus’ death)

• Matthew 26:36–38 — Jesus grieves deeply in Gethsemane.

• Isaiah 53:3 — The Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief.

“…before your death on the cross.”

• Luke 22:41–44 — Jesus in agony and prayer before His arrest.

• Philippians 2:8 — His humility and obedience to death on the cross.

“Thank you for being a God who understands our sufferings…”

• Hebrews 4:15 — Our High Priest who understands our weaknesses.

• 1 Peter 5:10 — God restores and strengthens after suffering.

“…and who never leaves us.”

• Deuteronomy 31:6 — “He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

• Matthew 28:20 — “I am with you always…”

• Psalm 46:1 — God is an ever-present help in trouble.

“Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have". – John Piper

This quote hits hard and helps me to continue to hold both the pain and what’s still here. I feel so blessed to be able to share it with you.

It’s ok to grieve what still hurts, what you’ve lost, what you long for that still hasn’t come to pass, but remember, there is still life to live here in the present.

EndoKin Collective News

A supportive community for women with endometriosis & adenomyosis, launching December 1st ✨

What’s included:💛 Supportive monthly virtual meetups💛 Expert-led educational workshops💛 Inclusive space for everyone managing Endometriosis💛 Discounts on resources💛 Sisterhood that gets it

👉 Join the waitlist now

Strength in kinship. Hope in healing.

🧰 Spoonie Essentials: Holiday Edition

Here are a few gentle helpers for comfort, warmth & pacing:

• Portable heat therapy for travel days

• Cozy compression leggings

• Bringing a change of clothes for outings, just in case bloating gets out of control and your outfit feels painful and tight

• Ginger or peppermint tea for nausea

• Noise-canceling earbuds for stimulation overload

• Cute pill organizer — makes med routines feel less clinical

Low-energy joy counts as joy!

📩 Work With Me

Whether you’re facing medical trauma, chronic illness, or faith distress — you don’t have to navigate it alone.

✔ Specialized EMDR for medical trauma ✔ Safe, collaborative, body-honoring care Virtual for NY, NJ, PA, SC, CA

 Book a consultation: Choose “I am a new client” to schedule an appointment. If you are sure you want to work with me, you can schedule a psychiatric diagnostic evaluation intake appointment instead of the 30-minute consultation. Follow the steps and complete all documents sent to keep your appointment. Consultations are $50.

Neat Finds of the Month!

I am so intrigued by Two Moons Health – Seed Cycling Hormone Balance Supplement! They have an interesting angle and all the ingredients seem organic yet straightforward. A doctor and a lawyer founded this brand; a dynamic duo like their premier product. You can also save  $40 at Two Moons Health with code Shakira40Fall.

 Receive a special  25% discount for members who want to re-up on their supplements at a Throne for Black Friday. Check out the dispensary here.

🤎 Closing Note

I’m proud of you — for surviving the days that didn’t feel survivable. For choosing hope when it feels impossible.For showing up for yourself in any way that you can in this moment.

If this season is heavy, sit with this:

“I am allowed to create a holiday season that feels fun, safe, and enjoyable for me.”

With warmth & gentleness, 

ShakiraCheerful Heart Mental Health Counseling PLLC

Stay Connected

Follow us on Instagram @Endo_Kin_Collective to stay connected, learn more about our community, and continue the conversation around healing, advocacy, and awareness.

Looking Ahead

As we move into October, we recognize Cancer Awareness Month—a time to honor the many lives touched by cancer. Together, let’s continue to raise awareness about the condition, its mental health impact, and the often-unspoken layers of trauma that accompany it.

Until next time, friends —Talk to you soon!